Spring Break, Day 4

We ventured forth once again, driving all the way to Snoqualmie for what promised to be the party of the century. We were not disappointed, although it got a bit dicey and the boys had to be reined in.
Me: Hey, Sam, you need to leave your penis alone. We are at someone's house and we don't do that.
Sam: Well, I just like to push it back and forth with the pockets.
Me: Uh-hunh.

After an entire day of drunken revelry, the friends were coming unglued.  They lacked self-control and could no longer read the room.
Sam: (to me, yelling) Are you going to play Candyland or what? I am so bored waiting for you!
Me: (through gritted teeth) Do you see all the vegetables I am putting away and all the cooking I am doing? I am doing my Kitchen Work. I am not a Shape-o-bot! I can't do it all at one time.
Sam: It's a Help-o-bot, not a Shape-o-bot. It did three things at one time.

Before bedtime, things just got weird.
Sam: (lying on the floor behind my chair) Don't look at me yet.
Me: (turning around) Oh no! Sam! He's dead! This is terrible! Dead, dead, dead!
Sam: (eyes closed) Can you throw me in the garbage?
Me: I'm tired. Not tonight.
Sam: Maybe I'll just drag myself to the garbage and you can throw me in.
Teddy: Trip over me! I'm dead too!

But they woke up rueful and mawkish.
Teddy: (to me) You're my best friend.
Me: Aw, you're my best friend.
Teddy: NO! You're MY best friend!

Sam: Oh, Mommy, I love you. You do so much for us and are so nice. Thank you.
Me: That makes me feel good. Thank you.
Sam: Are you going to cry? Sometimes people cry because things are so sweet.